Book Review - Lean In - Sheryl Sandberg


I don't know why I passively resisted reading this book but I did. I had heard the TED talk first and for some reason felt the book would be a  list of To-Dos which would never be achievable in the real world. Sounds uncharitable to have jumped to that conclusion. The TED talk is good and the points she mentions are true and yet I put off reading the book ! I am glad I finally read it.

So - what stands out for me in the book ?

1 -- The fact that she admits to having doubts, fear, worry and is not effortlessly confident all the time. It is the kind of vulnerability that I find myself astonished she would admit ! 

That a person like her has self-doubts and is unsure makes me feel - it is okay not to have all the answers. This is what drew me in and what made me continue reading. The book was not formulaic and the candid tone was refreshing.

2 -- The “Tiara Syndrome” !! 

In her own words -  it is where women “expect that if they keep doing their jobs well, someone will notice them and place a tiara on their head.”  Performance in school [ where the Tiara Syndrome is perpetuated I feel ] especially for girls is not always indicative of how well they will do in their careers. Especially the road to the executive office.

3 -- An internal report at Hewlett-Packard revealed that women only apply for open jobs if they think they meet 100 percent of the criteria listed. Men apply if they think they meet 60 percent of the requirements. 

I have seen this and am not surprised by the report but it bears re-iterating.

4 -- The way women leave before they actually leave. 

So many decisions based on "What-if" situations that are years away - be it marriage or children or elder care. The years before having a family are the time to work hard. I think her idea that  professional women measure the cost of child care against their future salary rather than their current salary - would ensure the years leading to family responsibility are not frittered away.

All in all a very good book that I would definitely recommend reading. 

Other snippets that I found informative and worth mentioning are listed below.


  • A 2011 McKinsey report noted that men are promoted based on potential, while women are promoted based on past accomplishments.
  • Fear is at the root of so many of the barriers that women face. Fear of not being liked. Fear of making the wrong choice. Fear of drawing negative attention. Fear of overreaching. Fear of being judged. Fear of failure. And the holy trinity of fear: the fear of being a bad mother/wife/daughter.
  • Women, feel fraudulent when they are praised for their accomplishments. Instead of feeling worthy of recognition, they feel undeserving and guilty, as if a mistake has been made. Despite being high achievers, even experts in their fields, women can’t seem to shake the sense that it is only a matter of time until they are found out for who they really are—impostors with limited skills or abilities.
  • We consistently underestimate ourselves.
  • When a woman fails, she is more likely to believe it is due to an inherent lack of ability.
  • Career progression often depends upon taking risks and advocating for oneself—traits that girls are discouraged from exhibiting.
  • Success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women.
  • He said that when you want to change things, you can’t please everyone. If you do please everyone, you aren’t making enough progress. Mark was right.
  • I realized that searching for a mentor has become the professional equivalent of waiting for Prince Charming !!! LOL ..
  • I don’t know any woman who feels comfortable with all her decisions.
  • Like me, most of the women I know do a great job worrying that we don’t measure up.
  • Every job will demand some sacrifice. The key is to avoid unnecessary sacrifice.
  • A task "Done is better than perfect".
  • The right question is not “Can I do it all?” but “Can I do what’s most important for me and my family?”


And lastly ...

If society truly valued the work of caring for children, companies and institutions would find ways to reduce these steep penalties and help parents combine career and family responsibilities.


Wild Hope ......

Wild Hope - when I truly understood the diagnosis,
Wild Hope - when I realized the terminal prognosis.

Wild Hope - because you hear of miracles happening everyday, everywhere ; One just needs to BELIEVE !
So ... I shush my voice of reason .. even though inside I grieve.

Wild Hope - through the slow and steady decline,
Wild Hope - because I want her to be perfect and fine !!!!

Wild Hope - even though I can see the loss of the precious person inside,
Wild Hope - even though I know that time is not on my side.

Wild Hope - through those numerous hospital trips,
Wild Hope - even as another part of her chips.

Times passes, a little battered and bruised - my wild hope is still there,
After all what is the point of wild hope even if my wish for a MIRACLE has no prayer ???

Then ...... I look into the face that had looked at me with love and joy; whose essence has now flown away,
And still that wild hope lingers - thinking everybody could be a wrong ...... but no .... not that day.

And my heart stutters ...... 'cos I knew ......... always knew it would come to this,
But that wild ...... WILD HOPE I did not want to dismiss.

Now the ashes are immersed and the prayers are said ....
I am happy she is out of pain and there are no incidents that portend slow dread.

The days come and go, time passes in  haze,
I hate knowing - music does not touch her ; neither do the sun's rays.

Life goes on - but sometimes the stoic mask is difficult to maintain,
'Cos the void left by her absence - will always remain.


RIP Mom


A new beginning .... or is it a full circle ?

Prelude : 

When I was in ........ [ Quick Observation - Don't many boring stories begin this way ??! ;) ] Indianapolis - I met a lady who was resolving some issues on my computer in the office and it took a while. We seemed to reach a friendly rapport and I found myself bemused with the kind of questions I asked her and her replies. [ They were so personal for a first chat - as it later occurred to me ].

For one thing - this was the time I was wondering if I should consider having a child once I was back in India. To me this was  not a light decision - it was a matter of a lifestyle change and obviously a mindset too. IMO it would not be fair to the child if I was not prepared for the adjustments and the sense of responsibility.

She simply said "Being a parent is a lifelong commitment, it does not end once they grow up. I have 3 children and they have children and yet I don't stop worrying about them ! ". Well ..... hmm this was something that had not occurred to me.

I then went on to her career and she astounded me when she said she had taken a 23 year break from her work and then reinvented herself and was employed now. She said that she had enjoyed the time with her children and she enjoyed having to learn new things once she was back in the job market and although the journey was not always easy - she was happy with her choices.

We chatted some more and while all my subsequent meetups with her were enjoyable the first talk really made an impression on me. Especially the part about being a parent forever ! :)

However I also realized I admired her for getting into the job market again after that kind of a long break. It definitely would not have been easy. As I discovered myself there is a bias when you come to the job market from a family related break. It does not matter whether it is fair or not - it is something that just is and needs to be acknowledged and handled.

Sabbatical : 

Anyway as life moved on -  I had a child - decided to take a break - initially was not sure if I wanted a 3 year break or shorter or longer but many readings I did around that time said - that the best formative years to be with the child were 0 - 8 years - so I did that.

I did my distance MBA after year 5 - took finance and marketing. And then when it seemed like my daughter needed less on-hand time [ emotionally she still needs me and her father too of course ] and preferred being with her circle of friends more - it looked like working was something I could now definitely go back to.

Job Hunting : 

And then the realities of the job markets - I would get many many pitches from job consultants who would back off once they knew I had come back to the job market from a break. One lady asked - Why was I even thinking of coming back ?? :)  I could never understand why they did not bother to read the headline of my CV - I was very very clear that I was coming back from a break and was looking at second innings.

All in all - I finally applied only to two jobs. One I had been called by the company and another was a link sent by my friend who had seen my status in facebook ! :) The first one - I called and checked that they knew I was coming after a break and when I was assured they knew - I went for the interview - only to get a rude shock. The person who was interviewing me clearly had not expected my break and although he spoke nicely, the bottom line was - they did not want me. I was very annoyed - not that they did not interview me - but that in spite of being clear on my CV they wasted my entire day !!

Friends' reactions to my job hunting - ranged from disbelief, encouragement,  to a quiet pity that I would never get a job ! ;)  LOL ..... Other than a couple of them - most friends for all their personal opinions were supportive.

On the whole I did not mind [ I AM realistic ] - Yes I would prefer to enter the corporate world again but that did not mean other avenues were closed.

Interview : 

The link sent by my friend was a linkedin url and I applied. After telephonic screening I was asked to come in person. And then to my astonishment the first person who I was to meet was the CEO of the company ! LOL - I was definitely taken aback. I called HR and they confirmed the same. As I was to later comprehend, the diversity initiative was his drive - and hence he was actively involved. [ He has since then moved on to  US within the same company and is now no longer the CEO of the Indian unit ] 

After his queries when he asked me if I had any questions; of course I had !!! After all how often would I get to ask questions of a CEO ? :)

Then came the technical round and couple more rounds. On skype I had the final call with my current manager and then got the offer letter.

First day : 

First day at my job was almost like a deja vu. The cubicles, the AC , the quiet hum of computers , the adjusting of the seat height and  the access cards ! It almost felt like the years had melted away and I was merely joining a new project ! I liked my colleagues and I joined at the right time ! One week later we went on a team outing where we played many team games that definitely broke the ice altogether ! :)

;)

Breaking the news : 

Tough times or times when you are not entirely sure of what the future holds do give you a better understanding of who truly are your friends. Reactions ranged from happiness for me to "Ok ok" over whatsapp !! As you can understand the "Ok ok" person has been relegated to "Don't bother" category ! ;) LOL ... Another friend was happy to come at meet me at my office !! :) I was happy too !! :)

What now ?

I don't know the future and I am taking things as they come ! :) There are of course different challenges now - the eternal work-life balance, how to be with my child, logistics of baby care etc :) Will probably be asking tips from "Both working" couples ! :)

I called up an aunt - the one who had supported me with a few words during my break; that I had made the right choice for me and never mind the nay sayers. She was pleased and happy for me.


In the final analysis that is what makes a difference - if you are given the same choices again - would you choose the same thing ? I know I would - so I am happy with the choices I have made and I am happy life has worked out to give me a chance at working in the area I prefer.

I have not said much about the support given to me by my spouse  and my child - simply because even the job hunting may have been a non-action item if they had not backed me !!! :)

I am also happy with the friends I have, since that all-too-important link was given by a friend who cared enough to respond to my fb rant !!!! ;)


It's a new beginning .. a path traversed before and yet .. different this time around ...


The "dreaded" small talk

First of all - I don't really "dread" small talk. Perhaps it is because I do not attend innumerable parties to suffer from this particular ennui ! :)

I personally view it as an art - and the best test is when one is able to keep a few people from disparate backgrounds engaged in a reasonably lively conversation. And that is not effortless !!!!  Try getting a group like that - to be at ease with one another !

A good "small talk" should make people comfortable with each other, introduce varied subjects, include everybody as far as possible and not delve too deep into any issue. The idea is to explore and enjoy - yes enjoy !

Strangely enough I have not found many people good at small talk.

For e.g. -  That marketing guy - who ends up giving a strident monologue to a group which is currently resenting being unable to get a word in side ways. But he thinks he is great at breaking ice !! :)

Or that person who has innumerable friends but cannot keep the conversation ball rolling at all !! Me thinks his friends are acquaintances based on mutually shared things-to-do and once that activity is over - hey there is nothing to talk about !!


Then there is the other variety - which does not know what to do when you accept an invite to their party / home-warming etc. Conversation is non-existent ! LOL - Talk about awkward !

And so on .....

So why am I talking about it ? It is a form of communication and people who are great at communication excel at "small talk" too. After all it is an ice-breaker and if networking is your thing - small talk is required. [ Although networking does involve more than small talk ]

I would think the following viewpoints about small talk can make the "dreaded" feeling go away.

1.  It is an initial step into a journey unknown - Either a person can end up a friend or an acquaintance or "just avoid" category. Subsequent forays just help the differentiation.

2. Keeps the conversation ball rolling - If one is especially good at this - it can keep the conversation moving from topic to topic and one can get to hear different opinions and may end up in lively discussions if one is lucky !!!!.

3. Opinions of people from diverse backgrounds - Self explanatory I would think. 

4. Non-political and non-confrontational - Small talk by its nature is not supposed to include radical topics. So one does not have to protect one's turf  in opinion wars ! :) Less pressure and relaxing; perhaps even enlivening hmm ?

See ? Isn't that a better way to view it ? A step into an uncharted territory .........

I am aware I have not touched the cons of small talk - which include - lying, untrue opinions, disinterest etc. But then those are the things that make the topic "dreaded" and I was viewing the positive aspects of it !