Take me where the sun is shining ......

He was the second child in a lower middle class family. Nothing very special... just one of the millions who did not live hand-to-mouth but luxury did not come by easily either. Every penny was definitely stretched as far as it could go. There were celebrations when he was born .. a boy.. after his sister.

He was destined for great things ; so he was told... he was very good at his studies , got into some mischief just as boys tend to do and in general was happy with life.

Everything changed when his Dad died. Not that his Dad had played fast and loose with money .. but some of the investments had sunk when the stock market crashed with the scams ... so he had had no choice but to work.

He had to give up his studies. His dreams of graduation and post graduation in a prestigious college were replaced by getting educated via correspondence. He was now a manager in a small manufacturing unit.

He had taken up the education of his sister and ensured she was married into a good family. She was now settled in US with her husband and one daughter. He was happy for them.

He himself was married with one son. Today morning his sister had come for a visit with her daughter armed with loads of gifts for the family. Then the inevitable comparisons began. He was monetarily in the same place his father had been while his sister was definitely in a better financial position with her double income household.

He tried to understand why they believed he made wrong decisions.

- He had not changed cities to follow a job that would have meant he could have had a better education along with work experience since his mother had balked at change in the cities
- He had laid aside money for his sister's education in good schools / colleges
- He had paid a lot of dowry to get his sister married into a good family
- He himself did not command a good dowry since he was not in very good job. Besides he did not ask for dowry. Was that wrong ?
- He did not expect his sister to share in taking care of his mother's hospital bills ...
... and so on ...

It seemed like his life had been shaped by the expectation that as the man of the family he would shoulder the
responsibilities.

Should he have moved from his hometown regardless of his mother's feelings ? Should he have made his sister sit at home while he finished his education with borrowed money perhaps ? Should he have gotten his sister married into a poorer family and saved money instead ? Should he have insisted on whatever dowry he could have commanded ?

He had never expected gratitude; he did not feel bitter or resentful but he had not expected his contribution to be summarily dismissed. Perhaps that was not the intention but that was the message he got. He realized he had made the mistake of not tempering his duties with his aspirations.

In the end perhaps .. monetary success was more valued than anything else but more importantly ; he had failed himself too. He forgot to add his needs to his list.

May be still there was time ... to change his path. To get out of his self-imposed straight-jacket. May be then he would not feel like a signboard on the path to success ! Perhaps ............... but as he stared pensively at nothing ; he decided he would teach his son to take care of his responsibilities but would add that he should take care of his dreams too ...

That following his heart was not an indulgence but something he owed himself.