8 Ruminations on the past year 2022

So what has last year made me reflect on ?

1. Life can sucker punch you at any time !!! Yes I know this but still when it happened yet again, it left me completely winded and with my head ringing ! I am yet to find my balance from the current knock out punch I have received. 

2. Schadenfreude - This person could barely keep her pleased smile from appearing on her face when she visited me (Uninvited! Bcoz of 'other' relations !). Did she think that would make me feel bad ? Nope, I know life does not leave anyone unscathed. The only difference is - your miseries may be hidden from me.  ( But I already know for this particular person !!!! ). 

3. Calling someone 'strong' is a cop out - Unless you are there to support or truly help; this is like saying - I called you strong and now my part is done thank God with no efforts whatsoever required after this. 

Some kind of checking off the list ! Of course there is a place for backing off but in general, like Robert Pirsig said - it is just calling a name, you have not solved anything. 

And don't you think I know when you cannot wait to get off the phone just in case I opportune you into helping me out when you clearly don't want to ???? 

4. My home, my castle and nobody asked your opinion - I never understand people who go to another person's house and start to criticize the house, the location, the décor, the cleanliness etc. First of all unsolicited opinions are unwelcome, second it does not increase regard, it only makes the person look crass, ill-mannered, uncouth and of terrible upbringing. That don't impress me much !!!  

5. Toxic, Tone deaf people - Snip, snip, snip - Eliminating these kind of toxic people from my life. I have always removed such people but there were couple that I kept in touch with. Part of it I think, was sinking cost fallacy and the strength of weak ties. I have come to the realization that even for weak ties I can choose better. So .. off they go out of my life.

6. Old people need to earn their respect - An old person can get consideration for their old age infirmities physically but respect ? Respect is earned. A long lived life does not necessarily equate to a well lived life ( so many parasites' out there ! ). 

Also why do people think that passing a derogatory comment about my child's upbringing the first time you meet her will make me want to please you ? It has the opposite effect. First of all it makes me wonder at how come old age has not made you nicer or wiser or even generous. It also tells me how out of touch with reality you are, desperately hanging on to your old age to claim your superiority because you have nothing else to offer. 

And unluckily for you - my child has also judged you - and knows to avoid you like a plague !!! That respect you were hankering for, definitely ain't there mate !

7. Two month deadlines - are better for short term goals, and systems are better for both short and long terms goals. Personal accountability and productivity is something I enjoy and each year it evolves. This year I will be trying out this way for the things I want to do.

8. Living forwards and backwards  - Living forwards - I still have my goal to keep working till 75 at least like the chairman of Persistent Systems; Anand Deshpande said we women should aspire to in his talk with us in Pune. Living backwards - On the other hand I think I am closer to the end than to the beginning of my life so I value my time more. Obviously I have no idea of my future life span. 

What it does translate into is that - I chuck books that don't hold my interest, I no longer watch videos that don't grab my attention, I don't spend energy on things for the sake of impressing anyone but most of all - I no longer have a bucket list. I consider myself very lucky - be it travel, sports adventures, work that I like, sabbatical, friends, relatives, life experiences in general. I no longer feel the need to have a bucket list. I am blessed. And that is a good feeling. Does that mean I will not seek out new experiences ? No but it does mean I no longer am bound to a list of things I need to accomplish to feel fulfilled.

Here's to another year of life and its vagaries.