(In)Sane parents !

We give new meaning to the term dysfunctional !

1. The "mele main kho ja" type

Child is in UKG - nobody to pick her up at the gate. So we drop her to her home .. and 3 of her family members in the house say "Oh we forgot about her " ???? Errr what ?

I sincerely hope they never take her to a mela - prime candidate for all those movie dramas !

2. The "barking" type

Parent - "Naksha what is the name of the covering of a tree?"
Naksha - "Bark"
Parent turning to her child and saying frantically [ test day syndrome ] - "Now remember , the covering of a tree is bark" , "B.A.R.K" , "Baark" ... "BAARK" ...

After a few more seconds of this scary "barking" the child ran away ! ;)

3. The "don't eat junk food" type 

Screams at her child for wanting to drink colas and eat chips and not do any physical activity. Fifteen minutes later is slouching on a sofa watching her favorite program - while munching on a giant bag of chips with cold fanta.

Junk food rules don't apply to middle-aged bodies I guess ! ;)

4. The  "fantastic swimming teacher" type

Two year old baby - swimming pool - both parents talking to other parents after spending 2 min in the pool. Boasting about the different techniques of teaching swimming. The child nearly drowns !! Luckily - spotted and taken out of the pool and they give a glare to the person who saved her.

I agree; it sucks to be interrupted while pontificating !

5.  The "waiting for her to grow up" type

Teen daughter - already 'knows' everything. Parents still waiting to have the "talk"  - about - "Not taking biscuits/chocolates from strangers" ... wow !

You missed that boat already dears ! LOL ....

6. The "I need my privacy" type

Child comes to neighbors house regularly on Thursdays at dinner time. After some time neighbor asks about it - Child says "Oh my dad wants to spend time with his girlfriend".

Love your neighbors - you never know when you will need them ! :)

7.  The "my child is like your child" type ... ;)

Saturday morning - 8am - drops her child to her friend's house without giving any heads-up. Picks up her child around 6pm. Does the same on Sunday. Reasoning - "Both my hubby and I had an exhausting week at work yaar !! We needed to relax" !!!

A friend in need is a friend indeed eh ?

8.  The "don't look into the eyes" type

While talking about her child - never looks into the person's eyes. She makes me feel like crossing my arms and saying - "Lady I am straight" !!!!

9. The "opinion poll" and "Hair-scare" type

Baby got hurt , big deep gash in the middle of crown - the mom calls 6 people for opinions on what to do - hey it is definitely not a "take-her-to-the-doc-if-you-have-a-doubt"  moment - she feels she will look foolish (???) if it turns out to be nothing ! So ..... what to do ?

Eventually she does not listen to everybody telling her to take the child to doctor considering the amount of bleeding. Instead she buries the gash in cold cream and turmeric. Six days later goes to a doctor ( for an unrelated reason ) who tears a strip of these "educated parents" and out comes the gooey mess with some hair - p..a...i..n..f...u...l..l..y.. for the child. Me thinks she was lucky the child did not go into septic shock ! The turmeric did its job I think.

And the ending - "I was so glad they did not have to shave her hair in that area or need stitches , it would have looked ugly ! " (??). Did not realize hair could not grow back!

10. The "logical" type

Mom buys only 2.5 inches spindly heels for her baby - says she looks very cute with them ... and wonders why her daughter falls down so often when playing running games ... ???

11. The "worry wart" type 
Who agonizes over every decision, thinks, re-thinks and thinks again ....until it becomes a truly tortuous torture and ties herself into mental knots ! :) What ??? You don't recognize me ? :)
Yours truly ! ;)

By no means is this list exhaustive! :) And in case you wondering - these are all true.