While retrieving the book I found another set of books - diaries ... ! Maintained when I was a teen ... :) So when I got a chance I skimmed them .... :)
And I think after reading them ... they can be safely chucked in the fire !!! :) Why .... ??
- For one thing I don't even recognize the teen who wrote those entries !!!! :) Was it me who vacillated between those kind of highs and lows and terrible blues ? :)
- WOW .. I had a big sense of paranoia then .... I have names in code and the most mortifying incidents ( I don't remember them ) are not even penned down !!! Just who did I think would be interested in reading about them ? :)
- Did I really think that people cared to plumb the depths of my personality when I said "Nobody will ever understand me because I wear a mask" ? :)
- And who is this person I have sworn to hate forever ? One would think I would be able to at least recall the face and the reason why ? :)
- Why oh why did I not enjoy being more than 15 kgs lighter and younger :) ??
- Seems like the color gray did not exist in my world at that time ... things were black or white !! :)
- Just why did I think it was all-firing important to dissect the incident with my friend and her guy - facial expression by facial expression - with her ??
- Did I really take all those personality tests and read Linda Goodman's books from cover to cover ... and actually use that to glean meaning into my behavior as well as that of others ?
- How did I think that poem that I wrote was a masterpiece ? Ugh ?? :)
- I spent that much time writing about clothes/music/likes and dislikes ? :)
- Feelings towards my crushes ( always long distance ... ) range from ... disbelief .. [ I mooned over that moron ?? Whatever happened to my taste ??? ] to ... just who is this person again ? :) I do recognize couple of them thankfully .... :)
- And just when did I study ? :)
But all in all ... I felt my drivel was very predictable .. typical teenage angst !!! :) Guess not all things nostalgic .. have a value !! :) But wait may be all is not lost ... perhaps this will help me understand ..... when my daughter hits the teens and thinks .. that her feelings are unique .... just like every other teen in the world !!!
2 comments:
Haha... I had a similar exp when I read my old diaries.. n y go till teenage, the journals I wrote only 3 years back seems like its written by some stranger ;) But yeah, its nice to read them after a few years... :)
I did not find it nice to read them !! :) Luckily after that I got hordes of pen friends .... so the diaries lasted only during the teen years ... :)
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