Mom ? Or just a doubtful indecisive person ?

With a child every decision  is fraught with doubt ....

-- If you quit your job you wonder if you are sending the wrong signal by not working but if you work you bemoan the lack of time with your child ... :)

-- When you send your child to classes on drawing , piano , swimming etc you question if you are not allowing the child free time ... if you lessen the classes you ask yourself if you are not exposing the child enough to new ventures that he/she could learn ....

-- When you prepare food you ponder if you are getting the nutrients right .. if you don't and instead have a cook .. you feel guilty for not cooking every meal and snack yourself ! :)

-- If you scold the child you feel guilty for hurting him/her but if you don't you contemplate whether you not making the child too soft emotionally and tied to your apron strings .... :)

-- If you spend lots of time playing with your child you speculate if you are making him/her dependent on you for entertainment; if you don't you feel like a heel for not spending enough time with the child...

-- If you read many story books to the child you wonder if you not paying enough attention to physical development and motor skills ... if you don't spend enough time reading you feel you are not preparing your child for future study ! :)

-- When you are firm you deliberate if you are being too authoritative and if you are lenient you mull over if you are spoiling the child ! :)

-- When you allow your child to play in the rain you muse if you have lost your senses ( :) ) lieu of the swine flu scare and but if you don't, you feel the child has lost an opportunity of spontaneous fun under the raindrops ...

And the list goes on .... damned if you do and damned if you don't !!! :)

  I believe this is not a question of right or wrong .. which I think would be easier to handle ..... it is a question of balance with respect to the individual nature of the child ..... and who knows what the balance is ... ??? :)))

I wonder if this is a common obsession / compulsion that makes me over-think every step I take .......

However even though I cannot help but think that my daughter deserves so much more better than the kind of parent I am .... when she unexpectedly gives me a hug and says "I love you Mama" ... I think may be ... just may be ....I am not doing such a bad job after all .....