Joy of an empty nest ....

It was a lazy Sunday morning and the terrace cleaning was on when I heard the chirping. It was coming from behind the washing machine and a quick look showed it to be a baby sparrow - wet due to the usage of water. A glance upwards showed that it most likely had fallen off a nest that was perched on my neighbour's window.

With a vague idea of putting it back in the nest I tried to get closer to it but of course it squawked dismally as I approached. So I gave up that thought. After sometime my hubby spied the mother sparrow flying down to the baby with food.

So there it remained - chirping intermittently and being fed by its mother. When the pigeons came near, it would hide under one of the legs of our washing machine and at night I think it hid in the same place.

After only one day of this - it seemed to like my hubby enough to sit next to his feet when he was sitting on his chair in the terrace.

My daughter and hubby worried that it perhaps did not have enough to eat and drink , filled a plastic cap with water and spread some grains for it. It seemed to like it ... and there began the routine. When my daughter was off at school it was my turn to check on its water supply and food.

Not knowing the growth cycle and wondering if its wing had broken in the fall and we did not know if the baby sparrow would ever fly. Still it seemed to feel like it was a member of our family - it was comfortable with us - especially my hubby whom it followed inside the house ! It would watch cricket in the living room with us too ... :)

We were not sure it would be good to have it inside the house for too long - what if the mother sparrow looked for it to give lessons in flying or more food ? So as if it could understand what we spoke - we told the baby sparrow to go outside for sometime ! All it did was give us this inquisitive look with a confidence that said - we would not chase it out !

Seeing this our daughter said we did not know how to speak to it and that we should speak to it in bird language. So bending down she "spoke" to it - "Tweet... tweet... tweet ... tweeeeeeeet ... tweeeet .. twit .. tweet ... TWIT !" with a flourish of hands and an emphatic tone ! The baby sparrow apparently understood because it went out !

Sometimes we saw that the sparrow had to compete with a couple of pigeons for the grains that we kept for it. We let it be since it would face similar situations in its life .. it also had enough of a survival instinct to know when to move out and where to go.

So it went ... It became a peripheral part of our lives. We would keep an ear out for its chirping and check on it often. We saw it trying to jump a little and fly with its tiny wings. We were glad that it seemed as if its wings were not damaged.

And then came the cardinal day ... it took flight - it flew to a balcony rail on the next building. I watched it with a fierce joy , it took me sometime to realize the happiness was mixed with heartache. I knew it was the last day I would see it. It spent the afternoon flying short distances between the buildings and looking at the varied views.

My daughter came back from school and looked for it in all corners of the terrace and did not find the baby
sparrow. It was gone. She was highly disappointed. So was my hubby. It never came back after that day and we missed it.

As my daughter snuggled close to me and was telling me it should have at least told her good-bye - it occurred to me that I knew now why it is called "empty-nest syndrome" when our children grow their wings and leave home. And I do not think the luxury of time will lessen the hollow feeling when it finally happens.

Still .... if the price for watching that ethereal flight into the unknown is ... the kind of joy, happiness, and heartache I feel now - I think I am glad to have the privilege of paying it.

Friends indeed .....



They say a crisis brings out the best in a person ... I believe it brings out the best in one's friends too.


My Mom was taken to ICU in the 3rd week of September and she is now home .. it has been a long 3 weeks where she spent 90% of her time in the ICU. Obviously not the best emotional time for me either !! And it has been a harrowing time ... it seemed like anything that could go wrong ... did go wrong. [ including me getting a viral red eye ....... right in the midst of needing to be in the hospital ... grrrr ].

 
Thankfully .....I am glad to say .... she is much better now and certainly on the road to complete recovery.  Ok .. so why the blog post ? Because ...

 
Every single friend who came to know of this has stretched out a helping hand and meant it too .... ! [ and no .. I had better things to do than to made an announcement of the rush to the hospital on that ill-fated morning ... ]

 
  • A friend took care of my daughter on the day I had to rush to the hospital and would have been happy to be of help for more days too ...
  • I had friends who wanted to pick up my daughter from school and take care of her .... knowing that this would one big area of concern for me .... [ since we were not sure of the number of days Mom would be in the hospital ... we put my baby into the day home in the same school ]
  • I got home made food at the hospital [ probably could have got it for every meal .. but I don't like putting others to so much trouble !!! :)) ]
  • I was relieved of the tense wait with a friend who came to visit me there ... [ not just once !! ]
  • Logistics of ensuring my home was clean .. was taken care of .. even though I was not at home ...
  • Many calls of concern .. sympathy ....and support ..
  • At no point did I feel that I would not have my friends to fall back on .. whenever I needed them ...
  • And so .. on ....

I am also thankful that within 10 min of my calling the school ... my daughter's day care was arranged ... without any fuss whatsoever. Not only that ... they intimated me ... that she was doing fine ... which was considerate ...

 
So all in all ... it is a mixed bag of emotions - surprise at the help, sad at the circumstances requiring this and a
gladness that I have so many well wishers ...

 
If I had not already identified my friends from mere acquaintances .. I definitely would have recognized them after this !!!  ;)

 
Thank you .... !!! :)

Civic sense ?

Education and Civic sense rarely go hand in hand ..
Recently I was talking with a taxi driver and the conversation veered to civic sense and he made a comment "Ma'am it is the educated people who behave worse than the people who don't know" .... I thought about it ..... I don't think the comment was wrong .....

Education and civic sense ... rarely seem to go hand in hand ..... I remembered some instances of such behavior by the so-called-educated people ... this includes Gen Y too ....

  • Coming to the ICU ward/waiting room with a bad case of viral conjunctivitis ....
  • Entering the society premises on a vehicle at 70km / hr ..... especially in the evening .. prime time when small children are playing / running / cycling.
  • Asking to divert money that has been donated for charity to be used for other sundry activities ...
  • One person is admitted in the ICU .. 26 people turn up in the ICU waiting room plus they have the gall to wonder if the other people really are relatives and all the 26 people want to enter the ICU ward en masse .... !! Jeez ...
  • Spitting gutka within hospital premises ...
  • Leaving plastic bottles and gutka wrappers on pristine mountain sides .....
  • Throwing water/garbage from the balcony on to the road ..... with no care towards the people walking below
  • Physically pushing children ..... in a crowd ( mall, after movie rush etc )
  • Flight announcement is for parents with children and elderly people .. yet everyone rushes and makes a crowd at the gate !!!!
  • Keeping the lift waiting ..... while busy chatting to someone outside their door .. uncaring of the people within the lift
  • Of-course loud ring-tones / talking .... in inappropriate places ...
  • Driving in an inebriated state ....
 ...... And so on ..... am sure there are many more examples of such uncouth conduct ...
I am not even touching the serious side of what education should bring about in areas of dowry, education of girl children, corruption, bride burning, land grabbing etc ...
I think ... education should also mean refinement and civility .... but is it asking for too much ??? Money, education and class .... rarely go together I guess ...

Book Review - The Argumentative Indian - Amartya Sen

The Argumentative Indian
I picked up this book from a friend eons ago .. and found it challenging to complete ! :) Not because it is not good but simply because history is something that I don't prefer to read !! Nevertheless I did finish reading this and I am glad I did ...

Having said that I would not suggest this book to someone who has an insular view of a Hindu India that has had absolutely no influence of any other culture on it !!! It would make for a flammable reading if one went with such an attitude. Instead I would think an open mind with an interest to counter-argue with research if one disagrees on the many points made would be a better approach !!

The writing is dry and caustic, well researched and in the form of a series of lectures. It depicts India as a civilization where public debate was not unknown , multiple cultures and religions were part of its vibrant fabric along with atheism and materialistic approach to life , he touches upon the topics of science and maths in ancient India, Indian calendars ( this is an amazing chapter ! ) , relationship with China, the Indian identity , Westerner's views of India .. etc


One of the major themes is that India's greatness lies in its diversity and tolerance of all religions. Although the author is aware that this tolerance has not stopped the social inequalities either.

One can consider the book as an attempt to encapsulate a few thousand years of Indian history that an Indian can take pride in even as the country looks forward to a global future which was not completely unknown before !

I did feel that the leanings on Ashoka and Akbar were a bit more than required. After all there were quite a few other kings but then .. those other kings probably did not suit the point being made !!

The inputs on Rabindranath Tagore whom the author eminently respects made for interesting reading. I don't prefer the deifying biographies that one reads of our previous leaders and the perspective shown by the author of this person is of a reasoning mind.

In our country more often that not - issues are tried emotionally ... the author dissects many topics of the Indian history in an academic manner with a whole wealth of references. It can be read as a book on history or just to learn something more about our country without falling prey to zealotry.