Book Review - Gone Girl - Gillian Flynn

I don't think I have ever reviewed a fiction book on my blog. Nevertheless for some reason I feel like writing about this book - "Gone girl" by Gillian Flynn.

Yes - the book is unforgettable. Why ? Let me count the ways ( ** there could be spoilers - read at your own risk ! ** )

  1. For starters - I did not like the story ! Here I am though .. writing about it ! :) I did not care for the writing style either !
  2. It starts very very slow and even after the slow part is over - I did not find it engrossing or gripping enough.
  3. You first root for Amy .. and then Nick and by the end of the book hate both protoganists and every other character too !
  4. People smug in their moral caliber will hate the ambivalent nature of the moral compass here.
  5. I actually liked the ending - and sincerely hope the author does not write a sequel.
  6. It is a dark, chilling, twisted toxic tale which says "Marriage can be a killer" !! 

To some extent this reminded me of "Aksar" but the difference is I did not like that movie. And the tale in the movie is very clear - villain-gets-all theme. This book has left me ambivalent which I find surprising. Being a person of strong opinions - it  feels strange.

My two bits on the book that is a top charter this season.

IBL 2013

We went to IBL 2013 at Pune yesterday. We enjoyed the matches.  Unlike IPL where honestly the place was so overcrowded we could hardly see any action even if it was in front of our noses ... here we could follow the complete match. There was noise but not so much that the game was in danger of being obscured.

We saw Lee Chong Wee play against Ajay Jayaram and it was a good match I thought. The speed of the returns from the World No 1 astonished me ! Phew!

The Saina Nehwal match was one sided against Thulasi but perhaps that was to be expected. The other matches were enjoyable. We saw Saina go into the commentary box. Later on we got to see P V Sindhu play. That was fun too.

My daughter met her friend from our society and they went crazy trying to get an autograph from Saina and unfortunately our baby ended up being disappointed. What was worse in my opinion is that Sindhu mentioned she would meet us in 2 minutes after she changed and then the security guards chose to chase us away. Lest it be construed that I am annoyed with her - nothing can be further from the truth. It would have been nice to have been able to meet her and get her autograph but I can understand that players do have other concerns - however I wish she had been able to come back and sign !

I had not really cared for Jwala Gutta before but I felt she was the most approachable of all the badminton players. She did not mind signing autographs and throwing them back to the audience and in general seemed more people friendly. I have changed my mind about her after watching her yesterday. So due to this graciousness - our daughter got her autograph which was thrown down to her and then ... thrown back up too ! :)

I do not have anything against other players - but - all this adds in to make people like me shell out for the tournaments na ? And where people come - hey more sponsors and money follow ! :)



I enjoyed watching IBL Match much better than IPL .. simply b'cos I was able to follow the action.

There were players who had to return a serve against Saina and later on Sindhu and got a goody bag from Vodafone .. :)

However to make the IBL matches more popular across India I think a few things should be taken care of
[ The live feed from 3 channels dropped to one channel ]

1. The idea of taking tickets against paper printouts is a waste of time and trees ! And that bit of signing off with "Recd" ... crazy !!!! The bar code in the tickets should suffice.

2. Make sure everyone can get seated in time to watch the matches. First there was a big serpentine Q and then suddenly everyone was being sent across hurriedly !!! What is the point of security then ?

3. People who took tickets for 300 Rs had no qualms about sitting in the upper sections. And those people who had taken 600 Rs tickets were left to fend for themselves. Entirely avoidable with proper organization.

4. Food should be made available within the stands. :) Hey we want to watch the matches after all !!!

5. Rope in the supposed actors who are brand ambassadors to do some ads - I saw no ads with Aamir Khan or Deepika Padukone ( supposedly according to a site they are the brand ambassadors ). In fact given her history I would think Deepika would want to do endorsing for free ! :) I only saw John Abraham in the endorsements.

6. Have some time for badminton players to  interact with the fans. Something that is manageable. [ Those 3 people serving cannot be counted.  ] So people can at least get an autograph signed. It will be the thought that hey we not only can get to see Saina we may get an autograph with her. Definitely a crowd puller. And right now - they could do with more popularity.

7. Organize the camera area properly. We were at the topmost row and it seemed to me like all the time the camera man was screaming at us to sit down ! Hey ... we are at a sports match .. don't expect us  not to get up ! If it is that much of a problem - then set up elsewhere.

8. Get proper badminton players ( or ex-players) for commentary. Seriously getting cricketers (or ex) is not going to cut ice. And inform the public about the game. In cricket - they keep explaining the rules of the game ... again and again so newcomers get hooked into it.

9. Talk about the badminton players themselves. Where they have learnt the art, their national level games, international level games, standing in the rankings etc. The more the role models the better.

Hmm that is all I can think of at the moment.  Still for all the our players I do hope IBL becomes a rage !

AVTAR I-WIN Pune Segue Session - Aug 2013 - My thoughts

I attended the AVTAR -I-WIN (www.avtariwin.com / https://www.facebook.com/AVTARIWIN ) Pune Segue session yesterday August 8th 2013 at Hotel Le Meridien. There were about 230 - 250 participants I think. While the event was mainly for women looking to starting their second innings after a break ( any reason - child care, elder care , marriage relocation , health ) I was surprised to note there were women who were working and were looking to change careers.

I do not want to go into what AVTAR I-WIN / Segue means. I feel their site does a very good job of it with more details. I do want to put in my thoughts on the session itself.

A presentation is present at the following link - in case you prefer to view a ppt instead of a blog !

http://www.slideshare.net/vidya_b/i-win-25101575  

What I liked - 


1. Profile of the speakers - The very first inkling of how serious AVTAR is regarding second innings for women comes from the profile of the speakers at the event. Apart from 
  • Ms. Saundarya Rajesh  Founder - President,  AVTAR I-WIN & FLEXI Careers India
we had the following speakers - who you would agree form an impressive list.
  • Ms. Sandhya Vasudevan, Managing Director DBOI Global Services Pvt. Ltd., Deutsche Bank Group
  • Ms. Nisha Verma, Head - Talent Management, Vodafone India Limited
  • Ms. Oindrila Majumdar, Head of Asset and Wealth Management Operations, DBOI Global Services, Deutsche Bank Group
  • Ms. Priya Tandon, Director Development,  Allscripts
  • Mr. CK Kumaravel, Co-Founder & Director, Naturals
  • Ms. Aditi Sharma, Vice President - Quality & Six Sigma, Cummins India
  • Ms. Mitu Seth, Mumbai Site Head of Human Resources, DBOI Global Services India, Deutsche Bank Group
  • Ms. Sukanya Patwardhan, Senior Practice Consultant, Tata Management Training Centre, Pune
  • Ms. Anita Borulkar,Associate Vice President Human Resource, Sandvik Asia Private Limited, Deutsche Bank Group
  • Ms. Ritu Waila,Consultant,Tata Management Training Centre, Pune
  • Mr. Ishmeet Singh, Business Head for Maharashtra,  Goa Circle, Vodafone
  • Mr. Sharad Verma, Senior Director, Talent Engagement and Development, SunGard Global Technology

2. The agenda - The workshops included a panel discussion on India Inc.'s need for women managers, On the need for Networking to restart a career, Negotiation skills to arrive at a win-win, an Entrepreneurial success story, a different view of oneself  [Me Inc. ] and the idea of internal stakeholders.

3. The participants - This forum allows us to meet many women who are looking at either change in their current work or second innings and is a wonderful way to network and form new connections. I was amazed at the representation - women from different fields, backgrounds, different work histories, different sabbatical gaps ( the longest I heard was 13 years ) , entrepreneurs ( some failed , some planning to start ).

4. Learnings - I learnt many things from the session but am going to write down the ideas that resonated the most with me.

Specific Learnings - 

  • Ms. Oindrila Majumdar, Head of Asset and Wealth Management Operations, DBOI Global Services, Deutsche Bank Group
    • "You are needed" ! 
Simple, direct, powerful and honestly a morale booster. It is not just me looking for a job for whatever reasons I have - Corporate India too needs women like me who have experience and want to join the workforce. Personally I found her inputs the most inspiring of all the speakers. Perhaps because of this statement ! :)

  • Ms. Saundarya Rajesh  Founder - President,  AVTAR I-WIN & FLEXI Careers India
    • Work-life Integration instead of work-life balance. 
I like the idea that work and life are not two separate things that need to be balanced but instead should be integrated for a fulfilling life.

  • Ms. Sandhya Vasudevan, Managing Director DBOI Global Services Pvt. Ltd., Deutsche Bank Group
    • Emphasis on clarity of goals - Why go to work ? To be very clear with yourself on this.
  • Ms. Nisha Verma, Head - Talent Management, Vodafone India Limited
    • Women are good in social networking but poor in mental and physical networking - Too true !
    • Grow "YOU" as a brand - What other people think of you, what people attribute to you and 'your' brand should invoke strong emotions.
    • In response to a question - Visibility alone is not good enough - visibility to the right people is also important.
  • Ms. Priya Tandon, Director Development,  Allscripts
    • Be sure of what you want in life and be happy with it. Also understand the price you are prepared to pay for what you want in life.
  • Mr. CK Kumaravel, Co-Founder & Director, Naturals
    • His talk had the most humorous moments ! Candid on a previous business failure as well as difficulties in the current journey.
    • Money is the by-product of serving others.
    • Irritation is the biggest source of energy ! :)
    • Initial seed money from 3F's - Family, Friends and Fools ! 
    • Be an eternal optimist - they always learn more and try more
    • Value people and use money - not the other way round
    • Answer to a person who had a failed business behind her - Failure is an opportunity to begin again.
  • Ms. Aditi Sharma, Vice President - Quality & Six Sigma, Cummins India
    • Don't over commit your employers and lose your flexibility 
  • Ms. Mitu Seth, Mumbai Site Head of Human Resources, DBOI Global Services India, Deutsche Bank Group
    • Prioritize
    • Accept you cannot do everything
    • Asking help is okay
    • Exercise the power to make choices 
    • There will be good days and bad days
    • Definition of success keeps changing - define it for yourself and don't inherit from others
  • Ms. Anita Borulkar,Associate Vice President Human Resource, Sandvik Asia Private Limited, Deutsche Bank Group
    • Inspiring talk - challenges in the field where not many women employees are present as well as handling unions and government. 
  • Ms. Sukanya Patwardhan, Senior Practice Consultant, Tata Management Training Centre, Pune
    • You are the CEO of Me Inc..
    • How well can you take the nonsense thrown at you / being taken for granted / feeling low / comparison ?
  • Ms. Ritu Waila,Consultant,Tata Management Training Centre, Pune
    • An inspiring story of managing a break forced due to health issues.
  • Mr. Ishmeet Singh, Business Head for Maharashtra & Goa Circle, Vodafone
    • Inputs from view of employer when a person with career break comes for an interview - Yes there can be a bias.
  • Mr. Sharad Verma, Senior Director, Talent Engagement and Development, SunGard Global Technology
    • Define your goals , priorities / ambitions / commitment to success 
    • Decide what you are willing to settle for / not settle for / your strengths / perceived weakness
    • Aim to be likable and competent - and showcase this with your attitude
    • Try to close a negotiation positively
    • Anticipate

Areas of improvement - 

I sincerely believe the Segue session was a superb program - so these critiques should be be considered with an open mind. They should be evaluated against obvious practical considerations as well as alignment to the goals of the program. However the best of people / groups like to see how they can do better - so I will give my inputs honestly.

1. Practical networking - It is good to say "Network" but an ice breaker kind of game would have been good. [ So many conferences have this- short 10 - 15 min game that gives say about 5 connections right away !!! ]. Yes we did connect with the ladies at our table and during tea but more would have been nice.

2. Segue success stories - Women who have benefited from the Segue sessions. Perhaps it is early to talk about this - I am not sure. The women need not come in person nor should women who do not wish to be spot lighted be mentioned by name. However I still think couple of stories would have been good.

3. Profile of the women participants - Not on an individual basis but in a very broad sense - the kind of industries they come from, the sabbatical gaps, education profile, business start ups .. etc

4. Entrepreneurial how to - The Naturals success story is inspiring but a general how-to for entrepreneurship would have been wonderful. I am not completely sure of this topic though since I have a feeling it could be so vast that it would not fit in the schedule !

Takeaways - 


1.  Networking - The forum helped to meet women in the same boat as I am - trying to make a comeback to work after a sabbatical.

2. Perspective from the company end  - It was good to hear from the other side of the table. The inputs were invaluable.

3. The workshops / talks / discussions - These were encouraging and motivating.

All in all - an informative and inspiring workshop which I am happy I got a chance to participate in. 

Ramblings ...

Why do we worry about who will cry when we die ?
It seems futile,
Perhaps we merely seek an answer to - who wants us happy and alive.

Why do we want to know who will be impressed ?
It is just the stress ,
Of wanting to belong to an elite club I guess.

Why do we worry about the road not taken
Our road by another is 'not taken' either,
And yet we pine,
For the grass that is greener just across the line.

I see everywhere it seems - puzzled minds,
That wonder why they missed the train,
Just by inches.