Life's like that ... only ............. [1]

There I was sitting and watching the falling snow flakes from the sky through my window ..... thinking this could have been very romantic but for a couple of things - If my hubby were in the same continent as I and if I were not stuck in a Greyhound bus with 3 blown tires smack between Indianapolis and Chicago with no means of informing my friends. ( Various reasons for the incommunicado state ).

The guy in the next seat decided to become loquacious and started to tell me about himself.

He told me how he met his girlfriend and the wonderful person she was. Well .. I thought .. someone was having their romance. :) He went on to expound on her virtues for the next few minutes. And then mentioned that although he was against it when she got with a child ; he was now thankful that she had gone ahead and had had the child. His son was a joy to him and he loved him a lot.

It also made him see how difficult it was for his girlfriend to be single parent. He realized it was time he took up his responsibilities. He described in great detail his understanding of what he now needed to do with his life. That he needed to be with his son. He had to be a good father. He needed to make a stable home for the family.

So towards this he had proposed and was en route to his wedding 4 days later.  Wonderful I thought ..
And then asked ... how old is your son ? 5 years came the prompt reply.
????!!!!!!  ...... better late than never ??? :)

Princess ... to ?

She was the princess of the house. Just a few months old and already everybody doted on her ... everything she did was commented on and exclaimed upon in wonder ....

She grew up a bit ... and then the expectations started "You are a girl .. don't run about so much", "Tell her not to shout so much", "She should sit properly", "Don't let her go in the sun .. she will become dark and then who will marry her ? "

The child was puzzled but being a sweet girl by nature did not rebel ..

She grew up some more ... and then her choice of clothes were scrutinized by every member of the family as well the extended family .... and so it went on .. by the time she reached her late teens it seemed like nothing she did pleased anyone !! What a contrast to how it was when she was born ...

Her freedom was curtailed ... she could not go out easily .... for safety reasons ... In time she compromised on her choice of education as well on working ... since they had found a very good groom for her .. and it was a fantastic match ... !! She had to learn cooking so she could keep her future in-laws and husband happy ...

Eventually she had a daughter ... and .. she tried to make every choice for her baby consciously so her baby would not feel burdened by the myriad expectations on her tiny shoulders .. but she wondered why had not the situation changed so much .. that she was still concerned about ... the same things her mother used to be concerned about ...

• She was perturbed about her child's safety when going out
• A good marriage was still considered more valuable for her girl child than a good job/career
• Her child was the censure of so many eyes 
• Her baby's complexion was a source of more anxiety than her activities in school

And so on ....

To add to her melancholy she learnt that her mother had been told the the same thing she heard ..... "Be thankful your in-laws are happy .. even though it is a girl !! "

She thought pensively ....How had the society/country moved forward if she was still worrying about the same things ... her mother had worried about for her ? Where was the lack ? In her ? In her upbringing ? In her inability to change the expectations of her family ?

She wondered - Shouldn't progress be measured in more than just economical terms ?

How do you .....

How do you cope when the person you know .. is no longer the person you know ?

How do you reconcile to this person recognizing you in snatches ? Time has no meaning in that world ....

How do you hide a fear of ... something that you don't want and yet ... wonder if that is best outcome that can happen .. but not for you ...

How do you make decisions that hinge on making a person live like a vegetable ?

How do you look at hands that cared for you ... now tugging desperately at the IV line ?

How do you look into eyes that gazed so lovingly at you .. now vacant or looking inquiringly at you ... as if you are a stranger ?

How do you understand a creeping loss ?

How do you say a slow good bye ?

How do you .......

To Remember Me ....

The best appeal for organ donation in my opinion ... I know I would like to end this way ....

To Remember Me - Robert N. Test

The day will come when my body will lie upon a white sheet neatly tucked under four corners of a mattress located in a hospital; busily occupied with the living and the dying. 

At a certain moment a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and that, for all intents and purposes, my life has stopped. 

When that happens, do not attempt to instill artificial life into my body by the use of a machine. 

And don't call this my deathbed. 

Let it be called the bed of life, and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives. 

Give my sight to the man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby's face or love in the eyes of a woman. 

Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain. 

Give my blood to the teenager who was pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play. 

Give my kidneys to the one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week. 

Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk. 

Explore every corner of my brain. 

Take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow so that, someday a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her window. 

Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow. 

If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weakness and all prejudice against my fellow man. 

Give my sins to the devil. 

Give my soul to God.

If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you. If you do all I have asked, I will live forever.