Song of freedom

She showed me glimpses of freedom , on many winter days beneath dreary skies ...

I was naive, idealistic and green and I wanted her to teach me how to fly ....

Summer days beneath a wide azure sky, the mountains standing at a distance ....

Springtime fields, yellow sunflowers;  a vista that caught the eye ....

Rustic splendor, idyllic haze and a bird's cry ...

Clouds of dust from passing cars ... they passed me by ...

The road beyond the distant blue horizon ... gave me longings I couldn't seem to elude...

Yet everything I ever knew of freedom ... was the love in a gaze I never knew I would lose ...

Which Alma Mater .....

Tis the admission season for 1st std and Junior KG here and the frequent topic of discussion among parents obviously revolves around schools - merits / demerits , admission process , entrance tests [ call it is what you will - assessment, admission test , writing picnic ... :) ] ..

There is the usual name dropping and mentioning of the influence one has in varied schools and the other end of the spectrum with parents forging birth certificates and hauling moolah to get their wards into the school of their choice. And then gloating over the poor souls who have had to go the regular route to get admissions ! Not nice at all !!

All parents have their reasons for seeking schools they like .. but some reasons puzzle me ... Among them the top two I am going to elaborate on.

1. Choosing a school because it is a good school.

Ok ... I have not gone crazy here .... no one wants to choose a bad school for their child and there is nothing overtly wrong in choosing a school because it is good. I would however go one step further and evaluate if the school would be good for the child.

There are many good schools each having their own educational philosophy - some that follow old methodologies of teaching , some that look at newer ways of teaching. Some well established and not in danger of being shut down in a couple of years and some that have an attrition rate of teachers that would give a BPO company a run for their money !!

A school has such an impact on the child's development that one would think that knowing the child's personality and trying to reasonably match it with the school's ideologies would figure somewhere on the list !!!

I am not getting into the other reasons for wanting to get into a particular school - the peer/alumni network, the social pressure , the academic/sports expectations of the parents , the family traditionally going to the same school , age related issues ( too young / too old ), coming in the middle of the year and not having many choices, religious inclinations ... etc ...

2. Choosing a school / board because the parent can handle the syllabus/language.

This almost always stumps me !! Isn't this a disservice to the child ? Shouldn't the child's needs/requirements come first ? And when I look at the curve of learning the past 2 decades ... it seems so apparent that a parent will never be able to handle the syllabus !!! :)

I mean how many of us learnt how to use the internet because our parents taught us ? :))

How many kids tell their parents what latest technology toys/games/mobiles/cameras to buy ? More than one would like to acknowledge !

Children are almost always ahead when it comes to learning something new. Parents - unless they are the uber learning/coping type cannot always hope to keep on top of the curve ... And nobody even knows what tomorrow's wave is going to be !!!

And then languages ... the CBSE board is considering making Mandarin a part of the syllabus. French , German , Spanish already figure in the foreign languages section .. how many parents learn these ? [ Mind you there are parents who do learn and teach their children !! Kudos to them ! :) ].

For that matter how many parents have children who have learnt Sanskrit whereas the parent has not learnt it ? :)

To me it seems self-evident that parents over-estimate their ability to teach ! Or may be I am under-estimating the desire and drive to teach ... But then this is just me .... perhaps marching to the beat of a slightly different ( weird? ) drum on this issue ... :)
 
But to equip a child for the future I would think the most important thing a school can teach a child would be the ability to learn, unlearn and relearn. [ To quote from Alvin Toffler - "The illiterate of the 21st Century will not be those who cannot read or write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn." ]
 
And ofcourse use the knowledge. To use another quote which I recently heard and loved [ Its raining quotes here ! :) ]
 
It is not the deficiency of knowledge that matters; it is the efficiency of its usage !
 
 

Joy of an empty nest ....

It was a lazy Sunday morning and the terrace cleaning was on when I heard the chirping. It was coming from behind the washing machine and a quick look showed it to be a baby sparrow - wet due to the usage of water. A glance upwards showed that it most likely had fallen off a nest that was perched on my neighbour's window.

With a vague idea of putting it back in the nest I tried to get closer to it but of course it squawked dismally as I approached. So I gave up that thought. After sometime my hubby spied the mother sparrow flying down to the baby with food.

So there it remained - chirping intermittently and being fed by its mother. When the pigeons came near, it would hide under one of the legs of our washing machine and at night I think it hid in the same place.

After only one day of this - it seemed to like my hubby enough to sit next to his feet when he was sitting on his chair in the terrace.

My daughter and hubby worried that it perhaps did not have enough to eat and drink , filled a plastic cap with water and spread some grains for it. It seemed to like it ... and there began the routine. When my daughter was off at school it was my turn to check on its water supply and food.

Not knowing the growth cycle and wondering if its wing had broken in the fall and we did not know if the baby sparrow would ever fly. Still it seemed to feel like it was a member of our family - it was comfortable with us - especially my hubby whom it followed inside the house ! It would watch cricket in the living room with us too ... :)

We were not sure it would be good to have it inside the house for too long - what if the mother sparrow looked for it to give lessons in flying or more food ? So as if it could understand what we spoke - we told the baby sparrow to go outside for sometime ! All it did was give us this inquisitive look with a confidence that said - we would not chase it out !

Seeing this our daughter said we did not know how to speak to it and that we should speak to it in bird language. So bending down she "spoke" to it - "Tweet... tweet... tweet ... tweeeeeeeet ... tweeeet .. twit .. tweet ... TWIT !" with a flourish of hands and an emphatic tone ! The baby sparrow apparently understood because it went out !

Sometimes we saw that the sparrow had to compete with a couple of pigeons for the grains that we kept for it. We let it be since it would face similar situations in its life .. it also had enough of a survival instinct to know when to move out and where to go.

So it went ... It became a peripheral part of our lives. We would keep an ear out for its chirping and check on it often. We saw it trying to jump a little and fly with its tiny wings. We were glad that it seemed as if its wings were not damaged.

And then came the cardinal day ... it took flight - it flew to a balcony rail on the next building. I watched it with a fierce joy , it took me sometime to realize the happiness was mixed with heartache. I knew it was the last day I would see it. It spent the afternoon flying short distances between the buildings and looking at the varied views.

My daughter came back from school and looked for it in all corners of the terrace and did not find the baby

sparrow. It was gone. She was highly disappointed. So was my hubby. It never came back after that day and we missed it.

As my daughter snuggled close to me and was telling me it should have at least told her good-bye - it occurred to me that I knew now why it is called "empty-nest syndrome" when our children grow their wings and leave home. And I do not think the luxury of time will lessen the hollow feeling when it finally happens.

Still .... if the price for watching that ethereal flight into the unknown is ... the kind of joy, happiness, and heartache I feel now - I think I am glad to have the privilege of paying it.

Friends indeed .....




They say a crisis brings out the best in a person ... I believe it brings out the best in one's friends too.


My Mom was taken to ICU in the 3rd week of September and she is now home .. it has been a long 3 weeks where she spent 90% of her time in the ICU. Obviously not the best emotional time for me either !! And it has been a harrowing time ... it seemed like anything that could go wrong ... did go wrong. [ including me getting a viral red eye ....... right in the midst of needing to be in the hospital ... grrrr ].

 

Thankfully .....I am glad to say .... she is much better now and certainly on the road to complete recovery.  Ok .. so why the blog post ? Because ...

 

Every single friend who came to know of this has stretched out a helping hand and meant it too .... ! [ and no .. I had better things to do than to made an announcement of the rush to the hospital on that ill-fated morning ... ]

 

• A friend took care of my daughter on the day I had to rush to the hospital and would have been happy to be of help for more days too ...
• I had friends who wanted to pick up my daughter from school and take care of her .... knowing that this would one big area of concern for me .... [ since we were not sure of the number of days Mom would be in the hospital ... we put my baby into the day home in the same school ]
• I got home made food at the hospital [ probably could have got it for every meal .. but I don't like putting others to so much trouble !!! :)) ]
• I was relieved of the tense wait with a friend who came to visit me there ... [ not just once !! ]
• Logistics of ensuring my home was clean .. was taken care of .. even though I was not at home ...
• Many calls of concern .. sympathy ....and support ..
• At no point did I feel that I would not have my friends to fall back on .. whenever I needed them ...
• And so .. on ....

I am also thankful that within 10 min of my calling the school ... my daughter's day care was arranged ... without any fuss whatsoever. Not only that ... they intimated me ... that she was doing fine ... which was considerate ...

 

So all in all ... it is a mixed bag of emotions - surprise at the help, sad at the circumstances requiring this and a

gladness that I have so many well wishers ...

 

If I had not already identified my friends from mere acquaintances .. I definitely would have recognized them after this !!!  ;)

 

Thank you .... !!! :)