Inputs go directly into the Output ...

Consider a scenario - A group of friends and one rambunctious toddler driving the parents wild ... out comes the threat ...


"If you don't listen .... we will lock you in the bathroom / dark room / terrace " etc ... And for added benefit - the threat is carried out sometime too .. so the child knows exactly what that fear is ....

Cut the scene - a few years later - the parents saying "I have no idea why he/she is afraid of the dark - he/she is old enough now to switch on the light in a dark room by himself/herself".

 

Is this a rocket science that the result from such constant admonishments is not visible ? The inputs are processed to shape the output !!!

 

Yet I see this every day and from educated and supposedly mature parents ... the other variations of the same ...

• Don't go into the water you will drown ; Later -- I don't understand why he/she is afraid to go to swimming lessons and keeps screaming ?
• Don't run/jump/climb etc you will get hurt; Later -- Look at that kid ... he/she is so good at sports and you ....
• Don't eat that - it is not the season for it ... ; Later - my child is fussy about food ....
• Don't make a mess or keep quiet - I am working and switching on the cartoon channel .... ; Later -- all he/she does is watch TV whole day ...

Admittedly parenting is a tough job [ especially if you think it to death :))) !!! ] We don't have the energy to keep up with kids and trying to maintain discipline when the child is on the tantrum train is a nightmare ....... yet ... some effort at viewing ourselves from the outlook of a child is required I think.

  

It seems to me very often - kids need a break from parents more than parents needing a break from kids !!! The world is a wonderful place in the child's eyes and in these days when the time for innocence and fun is shortening day by day .... they need a break from the the conflicting instructions ...

 

This is why I think a child is given extra energy to be naughty and irrepressible ; simply because if it were otherwise kids would become robots performing at the will of parents !!!! And nobody including parents .. would like such kids !!! :))) Contradictory eh ? :))

 

Book Review - Superfreaknomics by Steven Levitt and Stephen J Dubner

If I had to use one word to sum up this book I would use "Meandering" and not in a bad way. It is interesting and has lots of statistical data !

 

 Some of the topics covered include -

 

• Global warming ( but ofcourse !! :) ) - Some unconventional methods to reverse the warming.
• On People - If we are by nature altruistic or selfish
• How to catch a terrorist using data mining techniques ; one of the variables is life insurance
• Prostitution - many areas in this topic
• Drunken driving vs Drunken walking
• Doctors washing their hands ( and yes most don't seem to !!! )
• How safe are car seats vs seat Belts for kids and so on ....

There is a vast amount of diverse information packed in a good narrative style. It is more like a fiction book with non-fiction data ! :)

 

But I must admit the section on being a female in India made me cringe - not that what is written is not the truth because it unfortunately is and the arrow strikes too close to home.

I do not think this book has the impact of their first book "Freakonomics" or perhaps the "freak" of the first book - they seem to have lost some punch and are unconvincing in some of their arguments.

Also some insights seem more common knowledge than something that challenges preconceptions. Like the information on women dying during childbirth due to doctors not washing their hands. Or even people needing incentives to be more altruistic ( may be a cynical knowledge ! :) ).

  

All in all - an enjoyable but hardly a must read.

 

Which original version is liked ?

I can't say I like to play devil's advocate or stir up the nest but the current furore over "Phir Mile Sur" is irrestible.

While quite a few are not enamored with "Phir Mile Sur" ( an underestimation) others are fine with it - they may still prefer the older version but credit the new one with the inclusion of more diversity, technology, children, sign language etc.

And I speculate ... just how much of this commotion is due to "what-we-see-or-hear-first-we-like-better" syndrome !! Ok now what is the technical term for this ? :)))

Consider the following

1. Same songs/movie in different languages

• Cheeni Kum and the song from Mouna Raagam [ Tamil ]. It is a straight tune lift !

I prefer the Tamil version but friends here perfer the Cheeni Kum song and I cannot feel the magic in Cheeni Kum !!!

• Saathiya songs vs the Alaipayudhe [ Tamil ] songs

I like the Tamil version again and yes I heard it first.  My friends from Pune prefer the Hindi version [ yes I did make them listen to the Tamil version ! :) ]

• Anjali movie songs as well as the movie - I prefer the Telugu version which I watched and listened to first.

I know my Chennai friends like the Tamil version better ! :)

• Ghajini vs the Tamil movie ( forgot the name ) - yep I prefer Ghajini ( although I have not seen the entire movie )

• e. The day earth stood still - I can't imagine even wanting to watch the 1951 version ! :)

2. Cricket T-20 vs Test matches

The cricketing world proverbially erupted on this issue and yet see the cash cow that T-20 is now. This clearly shows the demand for cricket in this format never mind the purists' views ! :)

3. Books converted to Movies

Although the mediums are different - if a person has seen the movie first and then reads the book - more often than not he/she prefers the movie and vice versa.

4. Old Hindi songs and the new remixed versions

Yes people like the old versions but there are few kids I know who prefer the new ones. And I did think couple of the remixes were done tastefully so that one could listen to the old and the new with pleasure. Bonus ! :) The videos of these songs though .... are not my cup of tea at all ...

5. Strange but Atlas Shrugged and Fountainhead

Most Ayn Rand lovers seem to like both books but prefer the book read first !!! :)

And so on ..... I do think the in the long run purists lose ground simply because change ( good or bad ) is a juggernaut wheel that is just unstoppable !!!

Having said that; for "Phir Mile Sur" - I think they should have considered making it crisper - 5 - 6 min preferably and included more national icons and gotten off the excessive Bollywood train .... there were Bollywood people in the original but they did not choke you with their number ! :)

Choice , Freedom , Independence - What ?

Most parents when asked; tell that they want their kids to be independent. I wonder ..... what does independence mean ?

Financial Independence ? Emotional independence , Religious independence ?

When a child emotionally declares he/she prefers to spend more time with say the father - the mother immediately sulking is something I have seen too many times [ "After all I have done" .... is the oft heard wail ]. Isn't this is a barrier to emotional growth ??

A child questions - regarding the job, career or lack thereof [ :) ] - taking offence does not help.

In fact even for routine queries I have been told not to say "I don't know" because it reduces my authority !! I cannot say I understand this - I know I am not a know-it-all .. [ I prefer leaving this job to google !! :) ]. And I would prefer to explore the answer with my baby .... and common there are so many questions that I just cannot answer ..... if I curb this am I not impeding the child's intellectual freedom ??

Our children should earn and stand on their own feet. But if this involves making a lot of credit purchases and falling into a debt spiral - do we think that a child should learn from his/her mistakes or bail out the child again and again ? [ The child here is a legal adult but when is a child not a child to its parents ? Aaah yes .. when paying for our medical bills !!! :)) ]

Independence to decide on a life partner - an acquaintance was askance at the thought that having a girl child in the US who is independent might open the possibility of having a black [ have no idea what the politically correct term is now !! ] son-in-law .... !!!

Imagine a child choosing to change religions ( for any reason ) .. how many parents would like that and can support that ?

And the list goes on

- When a girl decides on the kind of dresses she wears ( for guys too ... but on a lesser level )
- When a guy decides to do some RJing instead of focusing on CET .......
- Choice of geographical area to settle

This is not restricted to a home environment alone ... Ever a submitted a proposal to your boss only to find that all the boss likes are the full stops and commas and sometimes not even that ? :)) Where is the independence here ?

A bird is taught by the parents to fly and yet when it flies the nest why does the resentment come in ? We may find that we cannot live with the choices made .....

So when I hear "I want my child to be independent" I also hear the caveat -

As long as he/she makes choices per my idea of what a a proper choice is .. and that is not independence at all .... it is mere conformity to a parent's ideals ......

While I am not immune to this phenomenon ... for now .... I think perhaps I should allow my child to jump in puddles more often ..... :)) That is also a type of choice right ?