Prelude :
When I was in ........ [ Quick Observation - Don't many boring stories begin this way ??! ;) ] Indianapolis - I met a lady who was resolving some issues on my computer in the office and it took a while. We seemed to reach a friendly rapport and I found myself bemused with the kind of questions I asked her and her replies. [ They were so personal for a first chat - as it later occurred to me ].For one thing - this was the time I was wondering if I should consider having a child once I was back in India. To me this was not a light decision - it was a matter of a lifestyle change and obviously a mindset too. IMO it would not be fair to the child if I was not prepared for the adjustments and the sense of responsibility.
She simply said "Being a parent is a lifelong commitment, it does not end once they grow up. I have 3 children and they have children and yet I don't stop worrying about them ! ". Well ..... hmm this was something that had not occurred to me.
I then went on to her career and she astounded me when she said she had taken a 23 year break from her work and then reinvented herself and was employed now. She said that she had enjoyed the time with her children and she enjoyed having to learn new things once she was back in the job market and although the journey was not always easy - she was happy with her choices.
We chatted some more and while all my subsequent meetups with her were enjoyable the first talk really made an impression on me. Especially the part about being a parent forever ! :)
However I also realized I admired her for getting into the job market again after that kind of a long break. It definitely would not have been easy. As I discovered myself there is a bias when you come to the job market from a family related break. It does not matter whether it is fair or not - it is something that just is and needs to be acknowledged and handled.
Sabbatical :
Anyway as life moved on - I had a child - decided to take a break - initially was not sure if I wanted a 3 year break or shorter or longer but many readings I did around that time said - that the best formative years to be with the child were 0 - 8 years - so I did that.I did my distance MBA after year 5 - took finance and marketing. And then when it seemed like my daughter needed less on-hand time [ emotionally she still needs me and her father too of course ] and preferred being with her circle of friends more - it looked like working was something I could now definitely go back to.
Job Hunting :
And then the realities of the job markets - I would get many many pitches from job consultants who would back off once they knew I had come back to the job market from a break. One lady asked - Why was I even thinking of coming back ?? :) I could never understand why they did not bother to read the headline of my CV - I was very very clear that I was coming back from a break and was looking at second innings.All in all - I finally applied only to two jobs. One I had been called by the company and another was a link sent by my friend who had seen my status in facebook ! :) The first one - I called and checked that they knew I was coming after a break and when I was assured they knew - I went for the interview - only to get a rude shock. The person who was interviewing me clearly had not expected my break and although he spoke nicely, the bottom line was - they did not want me. I was very annoyed - not that they did not interview me - but that in spite of being clear on my CV they wasted my entire day !!
Friends' reactions to my job hunting - ranged from disbelief, encouragement, to a quiet pity that I would never get a job ! ;) LOL ..... Other than a couple of them - most friends for all their personal opinions were supportive.
On the whole I did not mind [ I AM realistic ] - Yes I would prefer to enter the corporate world again but that did not mean other avenues were closed.
Interview :
The link sent by my friend was a linkedin url and I applied. After telephonic screening I was asked to come in person. And then to my astonishment the first person who I was to meet was the CEO of the company ! LOL - I was definitely taken aback. I called HR and they confirmed the same. As I was to later comprehend, the diversity initiative was his drive - and hence he was actively involved. [ He has since then moved on to US within the same company and is now no longer the CEO of the Indian unit ]
After his queries when he asked me if I had any questions; of course I had !!! After all how often would I get to ask questions of a CEO ? :)
Then came the technical round and couple more rounds. On skype I had the final call with my current manager and then got the offer letter.
First day :
First day at my job was almost like a deja vu. The cubicles, the AC , the quiet hum of computers , the adjusting of the seat height and the access cards ! It almost felt like the years had melted away and I was merely joining a new project ! I liked my colleagues and I joined at the right time ! One week later we went on a team outing where we played many team games that definitely broke the ice altogether ! :) |
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Breaking the news :
Tough times or times when you are not entirely sure of what the future holds do give you a better understanding of who truly are your friends. Reactions ranged from happiness for me to "Ok ok" over whatsapp !! As you can understand the "Ok ok" person has been relegated to "Don't bother" category ! ;) LOL ... Another friend was happy to come at meet me at my office !! :) I was happy too !! :)What now ?
I don't know the future and I am taking things as they come ! :) There are of course different challenges now - the eternal work-life balance, how to be with my child, logistics of baby care etc :) Will probably be asking tips from "Both working" couples ! :)
I called up an aunt - the one who had supported me with a few words during my break; that I had made the right choice for me and never mind the nay sayers. She was pleased and happy for me.
In the final analysis that is what makes a difference - if you are given the same choices again - would you choose the same thing ? I know I would - so I am happy with the choices I have made and I am happy life has worked out to give me a chance at working in the area I prefer.
I have not said much about the support given to me by my spouse and my child - simply because even the job hunting may have been a non-action item if they had not backed me !!! :)
I am also happy with the friends I have, since that all-too-important link was given by a friend who cared enough to respond to my fb rant !!!! ;)
