I personally view it as an art - and the best test is when one is able to keep a few people from disparate backgrounds engaged in a reasonably lively conversation. And that is not effortless !!!! Try getting a group like that - to be at ease with one another !
A good "small talk" should make people comfortable with each other, introduce varied subjects, include everybody as far as possible and not delve too deep into any issue. The idea is to explore and enjoy - yes enjoy !
Strangely enough I have not found many people good at small talk.
For e.g. - That marketing guy - who ends up giving a strident monologue to a group which is currently resenting being unable to get a word in side ways. But he thinks he is great at breaking ice !! :)
Or that person who has innumerable friends but cannot keep the conversation ball rolling at all !! Me thinks his friends are acquaintances based on mutually shared things-to-do and once that activity is over - hey there is nothing to talk about !!
Then there is the other variety - which does not know what to do when you accept an invite to their party / home-warming etc. Conversation is non-existent ! LOL - Talk about awkward !
And so on .....
So why am I talking about it ? It is a form of communication and people who are great at communication excel at "small talk" too. After all it is an ice-breaker and if networking is your thing - small talk is required. [ Although networking does involve more than small talk ]
I would think the following viewpoints about small talk can make the "dreaded" feeling go away.
1. It is an initial step into a journey unknown - Either a person can end up a friend or an acquaintance or "just avoid" category. Subsequent forays just help the differentiation.
2. Keeps the conversation ball rolling - If one is especially good at this - it can keep the conversation moving from topic to topic and one can get to hear different opinions and may end up in lively discussions if one is lucky !!!!.
3. Opinions of people from diverse backgrounds - Self explanatory I would think.
4. Non-political and non-confrontational - Small talk by its nature is not supposed to include radical topics. So one does not have to protect one's turf in opinion wars ! :) Less pressure and relaxing; perhaps even enlivening hmm ?
See ? Isn't that a better way to view it ? A step into an uncharted territory .........
I am aware I have not touched the cons of small talk - which include - lying, untrue opinions, disinterest etc. But then those are the things that make the topic "dreaded" and I was viewing the positive aspects of it !
